Feeling pain and dealing with suffering- 1 Samuel 1
1 Samuel 1
Go ahead and take 5 minutes to read 1 Samuel 1. First and Second Samuel cover about 135 years in total and he author is unknown. In the begining of 1 Samuel, Israel was experiencing a low point in their history. There were many things that were going wrong, sin had visibly been taking over the area. The Philistines to the west and the ammonites to the east were both, very hostile towards Israel. At the time Palistine had economic advantage over Israel because they had all the iron needed. The book of 1 Samuel has foreshadowing of Christ’s return. The four main themes are
The sovereignty of God
Holy Spirit empowering men
Personal and National effects of sin
“But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.”
When reading this for the first time, a flood of thoughts and emotions came to me. One being "Wow God can open and shut a mothers womb." On the other hand, “God why would you do that?” There are so many different reasons the Lord allows situations but that doesn't make it easier. Though that reality is not one I wish upon anyone, it shows the sovereignty of God. He has a plan for us that we can’t always understand. He is sovereign and asks us to come to Him. What is something in your life right now that you know God has in contol yet is hard to accept? How has that made you feel?
In all honesty one of my biggest fears ever is not being able to have children. As I sit here and grapple with this passage, I can’t even imagine the depth of confusion, pain, sorrow that this brought upon Hannah. Having walked with multiple friends through their own miscarriages my heart is confused and saddened.
Friends and Sisters this verse sinks deep, “This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.” As you read this passage we can feel the pain and suffering Hannah went through. The pain of life is real. I want to take this opportunity to acknowledge and sit with you in the pain and suffering. Having gone through many tough tough seasons myself and know the confusion that lurks. I want you to know you’re not alone and it’s okay to sit with it and take the time you need to fully process what has happened and the situation you are in. So often in the Christian realm we can stamp a bandaid of scripture or encouragement over.
Emotions are like “Check engine”, lights of the heart. They show that something deeper is going on. As we are honest with ourselves and the Lord, we can actually become aware and more mature. You can’t be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature. Being able to identify the needs you have that haven’t been met, things that have hurt and problems that have surfaced is a step towards relational maturity. As we bring these thoughts and feelings to Christ He then can comfort us in
our place of need.
As you think about the trial or a trial you have found yourself in what emotions have you had? I want you to take some time this week and identify the feelings you have. Are you Disgusted and if so, does Disproving, Disappointed, Awful, Repelled stand out to you the most When you have identified a couple of the feelings you have, ask yourself "Why are you feeling this way? What has happened that has led you to feeling that?" Then bring it to The Lord in honest prayer like:
Lord, I am feeling ____ right now because _____ did this to me. When _____ said this it made me feel ______. The next day when _______ happened it made me feel that same way. I am struggling with feeling ______ with this person and situation. I pray that you will save me from this and reveal truth to me.
“In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
Hannah shows us again the depth of emotions and pain. We too can be honest with ourselves and God with how we are doing.
Living in this broken world reminds me the need I have for you. I pray you would surface the pain that I have shoved down and wanted to avoid. I pray you would help me be honest with myself and reveal deeper my heart and pain. I choose to trust you and face the reality of life. Amen